For the last 10 years I have been a little obsessed with self-development. I had a massive breakdown when I was 26 which left me at the lowest point of my life.
I was scared, lost and barely able to function day to day.
Since then, I have tried to undo a lot of the bad habits that got me to that place and replace them with better ones.
I am not proclaiming to be a self-development guru, but I wanted to share 5 habits I have incorporated into my life that I think help me to become a better human, dad and husband.
I now live by the simple rule that the better I am, the better I can provide for my family.
1. Stay Away From All News (Apart from Sport)
This is an absolute must for me. There was a point during covid where I was obsessed.
I would tune into various news outlets almost hourly and it turned me into this angry, cynical and anxious human being.
Let’s be frank, us watching BBC news getting ourselves in a state is not positively affecting the outcome of what we are watching, only negatively affecting the people around us.
So I now go by the rule that if I have no control over it, I’m not wasting a precious second on it.
I think if we really want a better world, then all we can do is focus on bringing up great human beings. I can’t do that whilst watching this sensationalised, negative nonsense.
2. Homework for Life
I recently shared this on my Instagram feed and it’s a concept I have fallen in love with.
It’s an idea I got from a great book called ‘StoryWorthy’ by Matthew Dicks.
He calls this ‘Homework for Life’ and each night you go back through your day and write a couple of sentences about something memorable that happened.
This will then build up a catalogue of memories and you’ll never forget another day. This is especially fantastic to look back on when you’re a dad!
Here’s an entry from the other day (I used my phones notepad)
4th August - I went on a long walk to the Brit with Daisy. Had a nice wine and gave her some money for the £1 toy machine she always likes in there. We had a lovely chat there and back about allsorts
Admittedly some days are mundane, but the more you do it, the better you get at pulling some nuggets from even the shittiest days.
Another cool thing about this, is it gives a perception of slowing down time.
Time is thought to speed up as adults because we stop creating new memories because each day ‘appears’ to become quite similar.
This habit will allow you to create these new memories (that you’d otherwise miss), hence given the impression time is somehow slowing down.
If you’re interested in learning more about this concept, then here’s Matt’s TED talk.
3. Prioritise My Workouts (It’s not selfish going to the gym as a parent)
The older I get, the more conscious I get about my health. My health and my energy levels are everything to me now.
I am 37 so gone are the days where I can abuse myself and still perform to my highest.
Lifting weights with a solid diet has enabled me to get in very good shape again and I now have so much more energy for my family/work/social media.
I have also noticed if I don’t get my 3-4 training sessions in a week, I am just not the same person. I am definitely way more irritable and short fused!
We are away at our caravan for 6 weeks, and I usually use this as an excuse to binge and drink like a fish.
And in the past, I have come back totally unrefreshed and depressed from all the abuse.
This year I am still having fun, but the training and eating right is getting done too.
And its incredible the difference it has made for my mood.
4. 1-2 Minutes of Cold Water Pain
Cold water therapy is everywhere nowadays, isn’t it? (almost a fad!), but you cannot deny the science behind the health benefits.
And for the sake of spending 1-2 minutes in cold water daily, even if the health benefits are marginal, that’s worth it in my book.
The biggest attraction for me is the increase in dopamine.
Dopamine is the chemical which controls our motivation and it is thought to increase by up to 250% after jumping in some cold water.
I turn it cold at the end of my hot shower or jump in the sea when I am at the caravan.
If you are really into this stuff and want to know more about the benefits, this account on Instagram is the best I have found.
5. Create Something Every Day
Before I started my social media conquest, I enjoyed life, but I always felt like something was missing.
I never saw myself as a creative (I still don’t). Being creative and making constant content can sometimes be a real battle for me (I forced myself to start writing this newsletter)
But the fulfilment I get from creating a good video, or creating a newsletter that really resonates with someone was something that was missing before.
Even if my social media account fell to shit tomorrow, I’d still pursue another creative outlet as I think it is super important for my overall well-being.
I hope these have provided a little food for thought and it would be great to hear what habits you have been incorporating into your life?