Mealtime with our kids is, without a doubt, the most stressful part of parenting for us. Our kids are incredibly fussy. One minute, they like a certain food; the next, they claim it tastes like dog crap. The brand of chicken nuggets matters, and sometimes even the "right" brand is met with disgust. It feels like a constant battle to feed them, and it certainly takes a toll on our nerves and our will to live.
I always wish my kids could be like those children who just eat whatever is put in front of them. Occasionally, we look after our 3-year-old nephew, who’s an amazing eater, and watching him devour food is completely baffling—he eats what we serve without complaint!
This has reached a point where we’ve just had enough. We’re now looking at ourselves to see if we’re contributing to the problem and whether there’s anything we can do to help the situation.
Are We Just Unlucky?
So, are we just unlucky? Are some kids naturally better eaters than others, and did we simply draw the short straw? I suspect it’s a bit of both. No doubt our kids are genetically predisposed to be fussier eaters, but I also have no doubt that we’re contributing to it—or at least not putting the right strategies in place to make everyone’s life better at mealtimes.
We recently had Charlotte Stirling-Reed a leading baby and child nutritionist on our podcast, and while she said genetics play a large role, she also made it clear that there are strategies parents can use to help fussy eaters.
A poll I recently shared on Instagram supports this idea of genetics playing a strong role: 61% (over 15,000 votes) of parents with multiple children said their kids were a mix of good and fussy eaters. However, as Charlotte told us, the environment also plays a huge role.
What Have We Been Doing Wrong?
After nearly an hour-long podcast, I realized we’d been getting quite a few things wrong—but I’m not going to give it all away here. If you struggle with fussy eaters, you really need to listen to the full episode. There are so many useful tips.
The main takeaway for me, though, was this: we need to chill the hell out.
We need to make mealtimes fun for our kids instead of turning them into a constant battle filled with nagging and pressure to eat. We need to adopt a more relaxed attitude—almost as if we don’t care whether they eat or not.
The truth is, we put so much pressure on our kids to eat that we’ve made them dread mealtimes, which is the opposite of what we want. According to Charlotte, research backs this up.
"Just eat one more nugget" or "five more peas" is a constant stream of words that comes out of our mouths. But in reality, this extra food won’t make any difference. What I’m learning, though, is that the constant nagging could be making a difference—in a bad way.
It’s important to note that my kids aren’t underweight or malnourished—they’re healthy, strong girls. They’re not going to starve themselves. But we’ve fallen into this unhelpful cycle of worrying that if they don’t eat enough, they’ll be moody or won’t have enough energy for school.
The Takeaway
Adopting this laid-back attitude will take time, as it goes against all my instincts. It’s hard to let them leave an entire plate of food untouched just because the brand isn’t to their liking. But this is a long-term strategy. I don’t expect to become relaxed overnight or to suddenly have kids who eat everything without a fuss.
Over time, though, with the tools we’ve learned from this podcast episode, I believe we can create a mealtime environment that’s enjoyable for everyone. When our kids begin to enjoy dinner, we will too—and that feels like a goal worth striving for.
Even if this new nonchalant approach doesn’t immediately make them eat more, it will undoubtedly be better for our mental health. Taking care of ourselves is a crucial part of being the best parents we can be.
If you struggle with this or just want tips on your kids' nutrition, I strongly recommend listening to this episode. It’s given me and my wife so much more mental clarity around mealtimes and how to react when our kids inevitably don’t eat the food.