Before I was a parent, I was obsessed with golf. I had learned to play as a kid and developed into a semi-decent player. Golf was more than just a game to me; it was an escape. It provided me with a mental reset, a way to de-stress, and a break from the pressures of everyday life. It wasn’t until I stopped playing that I truly realized just how much it contributed to my overall well-being. Having always played, I never knew what it felt like to be without a hobby that occupied my thoughts and gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Then, I became a parent and a family man. Gradually, my golf hobby disappeared from my life. I went from playing at least once a week, with regular driving range sessions, to picking up a club only a few times a year. Parenting responsibilities took over, and before I knew it, I was left without a real hobby. Just work and a chaotic house 😊
Why That Was a Bad Idea
Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for my wife and our two beautiful, healthy daughters. So, complaining about my hobby falling by the wayside because I devoted more time to them might seem like I am being a right prick. However, I genuinely believe that losing my passion for golf left a bit of a gap in my life.
Sport has always been a massive part of who I am, and when I struggled to make time for it, I felt like something was missing. Through my years of parenting, I've learned and gained a strong belief that the happier and more fulfilled we are as individuals, the better we can show up as parents and spouses. I think, looking back, losing a regular hobby definitely affected my sense of self.
Many of us assume that becoming a parent means devoting every spare moment to our children. We fear that any time spent on ourselves equates to neglecting our kids in some way. But the truth is, our children benefit from having happy and fulfilled parents. If pursuing a personal interest contributes to that happiness, then it is a worthwhile investment—not just for us, but for our families too. I am getting a bit philosophical here, but I think there is a lot of truth to this.
The Pub Isn’t Enough for Me
As my life became centred around work, family responsibilities, and weekends filled with pub visits or dinners out, I just had this nagging feeling it wasn’t quite enough. Getting drunk and chatting shit to your family & friends is definitely something I need, but that being my only ‘interest’ isn’t enough.
I need something to engage me mentally and physically, something that I could improve at and feel proud of.
What Am I Doing Now?
You’re probably going to laugh when I tell you that me joining a social club has solved all my problems. Forget therapy—just join somewhere with a stale stench of ale and a pool table. Not quite but going somewhere to play some hobbies I enjoy has added a small something to my life.
So recently, I stumbled upon a small working men’s club that has a snooker table upstairs. A friend and I went in there and asked the lady behind the bar if we could play on the table. Her first response was, ‘Why?’. At this moment, my heart sank as I just thought, ‘This was going to be so shit.’ We went upstairs, and it was actually quite decent—the club used the room as a bit of a dumping ground, but the table was more than playable. In the subsequent weeks, they refurbished the whole room, and it has become my new favourite hobby. The gaff also has a dartboard with an oche and a very decent pool table—I’m in my element for 4 hours!
Now, every Wednesday night, we head to the club for a few games. We play five frames of snooker, ten legs of darts, and a few frames of pool. I get a genuine buzz from it every time we go. The joy of improving my skills and seeing progress in my game is immensely rewarding.
On Wednesday evenings, my wife puts the kids to bed, and I am not a huge miss when I’m away, so it works for us. Our kids are a little older now, and granted, it is a little easier for us to get some more time for ourselves. But I still believe any time we can carve out for ourselves to do something we enjoy is so beneficial.
The Takeaway
I believe that finding time for personal interests as a parent is not selfish—it’s necessary. A fulfilling hobby provides a mental break, reduces stress, and makes us better partners and parents. Whether it’s sports, music, art, or any other passion, keeping a hobby alive is a fucking must during this mad world as a parent.