I am obsessed with getting things done. I'm one of those people who must be super productive, always searching for something to do, to make progress, to earn more money, etc., etc.
"Relaxing is for old people."
Then, I had this sudden realization the other morning: "When was the last time I sat down and just played with one of my kids?"
I mean really played, so engrossed in it that at that moment, it was all that mattered.
Don't get me wrong, I provide for my kids, show them a lot of love and affection, and I would say I'm a decent dad.
But I don't play with my kids enough, and this really bothers me.
I'm so guilty of getting lost in chasing success and "providing" that I don't do the one thing my kids want me to do the most:
just sit there for 20 minutes and give them my undivided attention while playing a silly game.
So, I was lying on my bed the other morning, and my youngest came in for a cuddle, which I always do. I absolutely love cuddling my kids.
Then she said, "Can we play 'I Spy'?" It was 7:20 on a school morning, and I had plenty to do (nothing earth-shatteringly important), though my default answer would normally be, "Later, babe. I've got lots to do around the house."
Later wouldn't come because some other "really important" task would take priority.
And then something just clicked in me, and I thought, "What are you doing?" "Yes, of course, sweetie."
So we played a beautiful game of "I Spy" for about 20 minutes. We covered pretty much every object in my bedroom, and it was the best 20 minutes of that day.
We then got ready for school, and both my kids got to school on time. The house didn't fall apart because I devoted this time away from it.
She went to school buzzing, and a weird thing happened to me as well. I felt lighter for the rest of the day (not because I was starving from having no breakfast), but just better.
More fulfilled, and it made a difference. Maybe it was a placebo effect on my mood — whatever it was, it felt nice.
Now, I'm not suggesting that I'm now going to sit in constant utopia and play silly games 24/7 with my kids, but I need to carve out more time for this. It needs to become more of a priority.
Some mornings the washing up can wait, or that email can wait another hour. Not many things are so earth-shatteringly important that they always take precedence over giving your kids some playtime now and again.
I know as parents, we are all super busy, and it can be very stressful at times, but from a personal point of view, I think I can devote more playtime to my kids.
They'll be happier, and I'll be happier.
It's non-negotiable from now on!
What do you think? Are you guilty of this too? It would be great to get some conversation going on this...